The last time my brother came down to the city, I got a text at 11pm inviting me to meet him at the Purple Shamrock, or some other similarly godawful Quincy Market student-tourist date-rapey cattlecar pit. I actually went. I spent 40 minutes waiting in a line outside before giving up. I spent most of that time texting him to leave and come with me to Lucky’s Lounge, a “secret” speakeasyish place right across the Congress Street bridge (a five-minute walk) where my boyfriend was waiting for me. There’s no sign in front of Lucky’s, and first-timers are always impressed to discover it. Lucky’s has the best Sidecars in the world, the best Frank Sinatra impersonator in the world, and utterly amazing food. In fact, I think the moment when my boyfriend fell in love with me happened there, as I devoured bacon-wrapped meatloaf set on a mashed-potato island in a sea of brown gravy, then proceeded to nosh off his plate.
So, here are my top five local’s suggestions for actually having some serious fun out drinking in Boston: places where I’m dying to take my out-of-town friends. I was going to email this to a few select people, but decided to share it here instead, since everyone I’d have sent it to reads my blog anyway. These are not restaurants; they are not nightclubs. They are a slim handful of my favorite no-frills basic bars. They are where you gather a crowd of friends or simply unwind after work. However, excellent food or music will be duly noted.
- Deep Ellum. This place is the best bar, hands-down, in all of Boston. It’s the closest thing we have to New York City’s PDT. It is a serious bartender’s bar—the owner is a bartender; the cocktails are the star of the show. They make their own bitters, grenadine, sour mix, and brandy-soaked cherries in house. There’s a secret cocktail that contains all four: the Emily Rose, named after the bartender who invented it. This drink’s not printed on the menu, but order it anyway; you will not be disappointed! Emily’s one of my favorite bartenders. Our other favorite, Casey, brought back the universe’s best margarita recipe from a week in Mexico City. And their Bloody Marys are perfection perfected. The beer selection is constantly changing and incredibly interesting. No Bud Light, but there’s always an obscure Belgian. Deep Ellum is the reason I now calculate my tolerance in ABV rather than number of beers (American beers average about 4% alcohol by volume; Belgians are closer to 11%). This bar also has an amazing kitchen. They make their own sausages in house (try to get there for brunch!). Their cheese fries are made with gorgonzola and white truffle oil. Plus, they just built a huge, gorgeous deck out back that doubles their capacity during the summertime. 447 Cambridge St, Allston, MA. Green Line B @ Harvard Avenue. http://www.deepellum-boston.com/
- Charlie’s Kitchen. The best dive-bar in Boston is actually in Cambridge, but you need to be a little savvy. Don’t sit downstairs, and avoid the tourist-y beer garden at all costs. Instead, climb the narrow staircase to the upstairs bar, where the best jukebox in town is stocked with Slayer and the Melvins, late-80s rap and late-70s country, Tom Waits, T.Rex, the Pixies, and old blues. Sit at the bar if you can grab a stool, respect your surly tattooed bartendress, definitely talk to your neighbors, and buy Stan a shot of Jameson. Word to the wise: the food smells really good, but the only edible thing on the menu is the beer fries. 10 Eliot Street, Cambridge, MA. Red Line @ Harvard Square. http://www.myspace.com/charlieskitchen/
- River Gods. This is more of a place where you come for food, or because your friend’s DJing there, than to just go drinking at. But I’m fond of it. It’s very tiny. It’s very dark. But they put up Halloween decorations in mid-August, and Christmas decorations on November 1. And the decor—this is the place to be if you’re fleeing vampires, or the zombocalypse comes and the zombies are demonically animated. The exits are easily securable, there are giant crucifixes all over, and all the chairs look like medieval thrones. Excellent lighting. Somehow, the total effect is neither ren-faire nor kitsch. They have an amazing kitchen that serves incredibly delicious food. Half the menu is vegan; half is bloody, bloody meat. 125 River St, Cambridge, MA. Red Line @ Central Square. http://www.rivergodsonline.com/
- ZuZu. Tucked in between the Middle East Upstairs and Restaurant, ZuZu is the Middle East’s sophisticated older sister, the Prada to its Miu Miu, the Banana Republic to its Old Navy. They respect the cocktail here, but still serve $3 bottles of High Life. Most nights there are excellent DJs playing (Wednesday is always punk/metal; Saturdays always reggae/soul), with an occasional live band. I’ve been whisked into a tango trying to get from one end of the room to another as a salsa band played on a packed night. They serve decent food, and the bartenders are awesome. 474 Mass Ave, Cambridge, MA. Red Line @ Central Square. http://www.mideastclub.com/
- Bukowski. The sign at the door reads “In God We Trust. ALL OTHERS PAY CASH.” Excellent decor, truly excellent pub grub. The Inman Square Buks is a DisneyLand version of the original Back Bay location. Music is selected by the staff, and typically excellent. The beer selection rivals Sunset Grille, and the mugs hanging over the bar are reserved for regulars: drink one each of all 99 beers on tap, and you get the name of your favorite author engraved on your own private beer mug. For a while that was a minor ambition of mine, before sanity intervened. 50 Dalton St, Boston, MA. Green Line @ Hynes, Orange Line @ Back Bay.
Bonus! Cuchi-Cuchi. This is the girliest bar I’ve ever been to. It’s always belle epoch Paris and the golden age of Hollywood here: candles, crystals, stained glass, sheer draperies, unrepentant real fur, and gilded everything. Even the restrooms are glamourous. The waitresses wear boas, long strands of flapper pearls, and complicated hats. The gorgeous cocktails have names like “Dancing with Ginger” and “Salome’s Potion.” The Blood Orange Sidecar is a particular delight. The food is amazing. I especially love the “Caspian Heaven”—roasted fingerling potatoes, crispy oysters, crème fraîche, salmon roe, and champagne sauce—and the “Savory Cornets with Tuna Tartare and Avocado Mousse” are to die for. All dishes are “small plates” (they get very sensitive if you say “tapas”), and meant to be shared. If you’re planning a bachelorette party, this is where it should be. Schedule a “diva night,” and they’ll let you and your closest friends play dress-up with their stash of vintage couture (Valentino, Givenchy, Edith Head…). 795 Main Street, Cambridge, MA. Red Line @ Central Square. http://www.cuchicuchi.cc/
And there are so many more—Persephone, Noir, Plough & Stars, The Model, OtherSide Café, The Good Life—yet I’ll restrain myself. Enjoy, but don’t spread the word too far… I’d love to meet up with anyone at any of these spots anytime.
